As the adult, you and/or your spouse decide on the tone for the family. The children and young adults in the family will observe and learn from the adult behavior. When there is shouting or use of physically aggressive behavior as a means to deal with conflict, the children will adopt this as a way to resolve conflict and disagreements.
When arguments and disagreements occur within the family, it is important to maintain control of the anger and emotion. One strategy is to take time to calm down before discussing the issue again. It’s important to show the children and teens in the family that although conflicts will occur in life, there are different ways to diffuse the situation.
When is Enough Too Much: Some issues are too big for children to resolve between themselves, and the argument begins to escalate. There is always a concern that a conflict will become intense or lead to some act of physical aggression. This is the point at which the adult needs to intervene. It is important for the parent/adult to step in prior to any physical violence. Allow feelings a time to cool, and then a mutual solution may be possible. If not, the parent can assist their child to suggest plausible alternatives. Then a discussion can follow and allow the child to decide which is the best one.
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